I want to finally make a post myself. Brian has taken over as the blogger since this hurricane picked up our lives and started to spin. But I want all of you to know that I am doing good and I feel healthy and strong. When the Lord asks us to do something, he WILL provide a way for us to do it and He has certainly made me have the strength to take care of Ezra and be far from my other children right now.
I carry around a huge jumbo butterfly bag (Thanks Shelley Neill) that is weighed down by a hospital grade super-strong-double-duty-electric breast pump. Most of my friends have heard my opinions on pumping..."I am not a pumper" "I will never pump, it's awful." Today, I looked at this small bottle full of milk for my son and I wanted to cry because I am so thankful for that blue and yellow pump that has become my best friend. To be able to provide milk for Ezra and take part in caring for his needs is what keeps me going every day. Pumping helps me feel needed and is THE only thing I still have control of as a mother. His nurses and doctors control so much of his life. I want some of the responsibility in nurturing him and so I have taken on the role of a self-contained dairy farm. It is the best part of my day.
Ezra loves his hands. He is obsessed with having them close by his face. He is a pro at keeping his own binki in his mouth. 
The past week I have learned that there are too many unknowns in life, and it is scary. Rather than relying on a foundation rotten and shaky with fear, I have learned that the only solid things to stand on are family and good friends, the principles of the gospel, and my faith in a loving God. Everything else is nothing. When the hurricanes of life rush in and rip us literally off our feet, the only thing that keeps us from spinning out of control are these things. 
Thanks for the little teddy bear Amy. It is his first toy and it is bigger than he is. Thanks Nicole and Liz for the cupcakes. They were SO good and made all the nurses jealous. Ezra is amazing and I can't wait for all of you to meet him. As an update...surgery will be scheduled next week for sure (hopefully earlier and not later). The jaw stretching will take 10 days -or 2 weeks- or three weeks. We of course are hoping for quicker but I am trying to expect 3 weeks so I won't be let down. Then...it is unknown, and yes this is where I have to have faith that everything will be fine. The kids are going to come and visit some time after Ezra's surgery. We miss them more than I could ever describe.
Thank you for your prayers, I swear it is what keeps me going.
26 comments:
Jami! What a mother you are! I have always really admired your strength and here I am again growing in admiration for the strength you have now. You are just amazing! Make sure to take care of you as well as that precious baby. We are thinking and praying for you and your family.
Jami,
I can't even tell you how much yours and Brian words of this experience has humbled me and made me grateful to have a family who loves each other and the Lord. I can't even imagine what it has been like for you guys this past week since Ezra was born. It brings tears to my eyes to think what you have been through and then to see how amazingly strong you guys have been through it all! We really miss you guys but we are relieved to know that Ezra is being taken care of because that is really all that matters! We are praying for you, Brian, and especially the baby, as well as the doctors and nurses who are taking care of him. Thank you so much for the updates! Take care and please tell Ezra how much his family loves him!!
Jami & Brian -
I am writing on behalf of the whole Kishpaugh/Marshall Family. :) Our thoughts and prayers are with you. If there is ANYTHING any of us can do... Let us know! (Not kidding!) :)... I personally admire your strength. I kinda know what you are going thru. My youngest son was in the NICU for 14 days after he was born. Stay positive and know that MANY MANY people love you all and are praying for you and your family! :)
Love,
Amy (Marshall) :)
Our hearts go out to you and your little one and our prayers are with you. Thank you once again for your strength and testimony. Go Milk Mama! Oh, this website has some really good articles on pumping: www.kellymom.com
Hi Jamester & Brian & Ezra-
My friend Miriam will be back to NICU on Monday, I told her to find you guys! I am so proud of the "pumping wonderwoman" It is not always fun, but you are so right - it is like GOLD! I am slowly getting rid of this cold, so hope to see you all soon. Again, I am thankful for your strength and texts and posts...I am so proud of my lil' sis and you do look beautiful feeding him! Love, JODY
Jami...
Hi. We've never met - I'm Brian's cousin Heather, on his mom's side. I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you guys and praying that all will be well. You both seem so strong and amazing and I know that he was sent to you on purpose. Heavenly Father is one smart man. Anyway, I live in the Logan area and if you need anything at all, please please please feel that you can call. My cell is 435-512-1864 and my email address is themurphy8@msn.com. Hang in there! You are at the most amazing hospital and will be well taken care of, but just let me know if you need anything from the outside world. Love you guys!
Jami you are so strong! He is such a little love. Keep up the good work. I know that Lord hasn't given you more than you can handle.
Thanks for the post. It is good to hear from you. Glad you are doing well and that you are able to pump. The Lord does take care of us and I am glad that you guys have the strength that you need right now. Glad you enjoyed the cupcakes. We will all keep praying for you!
Your strength and testimony is so inspiring. We are continuing to pray for you and your family. It is good to hear from you, Jami and to know how you are doing. We have been so worried. Let me know if Annacy and Simon need anything while you are gone. I know your mom is handling everything, but really--if she needs a break or something they could of course come over and play! Let us help! We want to do whatever we can!
He is a beautiful boy. You are amazing. I hate pumping too. But I know that being able to give our children what sustains them is such a wonderful thing. I know that Heavenly Father is there for us in times of trial. There is nothing to describe the strength that comes from him. I don't know how anyone could handle the "hurricanes" of life with out him. Your are in our prayers each day.
ps I met your mom today. She is doll. She is so proud of you!
We love you Jami! You are such an amazing Mom! You are doing a wonderful job! Please take care of yourself and give that sweet little baby boy lots of hugs and kisses! You are in our prayers!
I am so glad that you have something that you can control. Ezra is adorable and I love seeing the pix! Your mom is so sweet and your kids were so good in church today!
Jami it was so good to hear from you and know that you are hanging in there. I can't even imagine what you are going through and I think about you all everyday and all day long. I wish I could be there to see you and give you a hug. And see my cute little nephew. You are so inspiring and so strong. You always have been a positive person and I have always looked up to you for that. I love you guys so much and I am so glad that you get to pump and feed him your own milk. Love you so much. My prayers are with you constantly.
I am not a pumper either! I hate it! I'm so amazed at your strength. Knowing how hard it is to do something you don't want to do because you love Ezra so much is so wonderful! You are a strength and example to me even from so far away. Good luck with everything and know that we are praying for you and always thinking of you and your family!
I am so glad that you finally got a chance to sit down and take a breath & write some things down. You have a calming way about you which comes through in your writing. Your mom has the same calming nature. By the way, she is super cool & very funny. We are going to have the whole clan over for dinner this week. I am glad to hear that Annacy & Simon are going to go to be with you after the surgery. It will be just the boost you want at the right time. We were all together this weekend and everyone was so happy to get the news about Ezra eating on his own. We all just share news updates with each other. I know that this is probably the last thing you would want to do but if you ever just want ot talk about nothing please give me a call. I am the Queen when it comes to talking about nothing! Give yourself and your boys a hug for us. Hope to hear from you soon! Jason, Nicole, Bodie & Aurora. JNBA
Jami & Brian~ You and your family are in our prayers and thoughts! You are amazing people and I know our Heavenly Father will help you through this. The entire ward is behind you. So many prayers were mentioned in your behalf yesterday!We love you guys!
Jami, I love the picture of you feeding him! Although I don't see much of you guys... You and your family mean SO much to me. I love you guys and little Ezra! You are amazing Jami! It breaks my heart to know how hard this must be, it must really seem like a bad storm has hit. What a true testament that when we rely on the Lord our family and our friends in hard times like this... the strength, and blessings will follow!!! You guys will continue to be in our thoughts and in our prayers.
I can't say anything more than others added except to say you've been on my mind non-stop since I read this Sunday evening. All our prayers are with you and your precious Ezra. I, too, hate pumping, so bless your efforts, Jami.
Jami and Brian,
Everyone disappeared and I couldn't find you! My heart goes out to you both and your beautiful little Ezra. How blessed he is to have such wonderful devoted parents. What a great blessing your faith and hope will be with this challenge. I know you will feel the power of all the prayers that are being sent to Heaven for Ezra, you two, and your family. God is good and will stand with you ever watching. I pray you can feel his love wrapped around you all during these difficult days.
Much love to you! Sue M
Jami, we love you babe. We all know that you and Brian are doing a wonderful job in Salt Lake with Ezra. Don't worry, before you know it, Ezra will be running, jumping, getting into everything, and just causing you both alot of grief. Oh how fun that will be to see that !!! Then you'll wish you had'nt given him sooo much of that miracle breast milk.
Grandpa
Jami what an example you and Brian are to so many people! We are all praying for you and your family.
Jami,
My heart goes out to you and Brian. I hope you know that you are continually in our thoughts and prayers. Ezra is a beautiful baby and he is so fortunate to have you you for parents. What would we do without the Gospel in our lives? Your strength and faith is so inspiring. We love you, Tally & family
Hi guys,
I am obsessed with looking at the pictures you've posted of Ezra! It's also really cool to read all the words of encouragement that people have written to you. I can't believe that even dad wrote you a comment...that's quite a big step for dad in the computer world! I am impressed with his efforts! We love you guys and are praying that Ezra's surgery will go well tomorrow! Good luck!
Amber
Jami, Brian, & Ezra -
This has been a uniting experience for our families --- it has helped us to see your faith and to prioritize our own lives, in the way you both have. What a tribute to your little family to read how others have benefited from the way you responded to your personal trials. We are so happy to finally SEE Ezra in pictures. He's beautiful, like everyone reported! (Since we've been out of town, we were dying to get back to the computer to check your blog.) As my Brian said, he knows Ezra will be just fine because he has AMAZING parents. We love you!!
i too am obsessed with your beautiful little guy and hope to see new pictures. I just look at that sweet picture of you feeding baby Ezra and just think how wonderful and precious that moment is for you. I love you guys so much and wish I could come up to see you this weekend with everyone else. Love you
Brian and Jami,
I am sorry to hear that there is still no scheduled date for Ezra. Don't let yourselves get down about it. I know that it must be very discouraging and frustrating to not know when things are going to start happening. Just know that you guys and the team of doctors who are taking care of Ezra are in our prayers and that the Lord has a plan for your baby! Just try to stay strong and keep your heads up and know that things will happen the way they are suppose to soon! I'm sure that seeing Annacy and Simon this weekend will give you a much needed boost and relief from the craziness you've experienced in the last 10 days. Have faith and remember that the Lord is mindful of your sweet baby boy! I love you guys!
Love, Amber
P.S. If you need someone to talk to, please know that you can call me!
Post a Comment